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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194270">Emaciated (Billdip)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vapid_Specter/pseuds/Vapid_Specter'>Vapid_Specter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gravity Falls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Bill Cipher Being Bill Cipher, Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines Fluff, Comfort/Angst, Domestic, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Bill Cipher, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Light Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Older Dipper Pines, Panic, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Romance, Post-Weirdmageddon, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Triggers, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, Wordcount: Over 1.000, bill cipher angst, he's like 17 or something</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:34:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vapid_Specter/pseuds/Vapid_Specter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I don’t really know how to summarize this 😅</p><p>Bill’s anorexic, Dipper’s worried, angst and fluff ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Cipher &amp; Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>124</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Emaciated (Billdip)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First Story! Yay!</p><p>Triggers: Mentions of Anorexia, Swearing, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Nightmares, Mentions of Neglect (Barely), Self Harm??.<br/>If you have any others please let be know. </p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dipper walked downstairs to see an irritated Bill dumping an entire bowl of cereal in the trash can. “Whatcha doin’?” Dipper said in a curios voice that was laced with slight annoyance, Bill put the empty bowl in the sink, visibly restraining himself from smashing it and glared over at Dipper. “I’m playing go fish with Satan. What does it look like?” Bill responded sardonically, he was always a smartass whenever he was upset about something.</p><p>Dipper sat down in one of the seats at the small breakfast table next to the window and peered outside.</p><p>It was the middle of spring so the sun was already up and cast a beam of light over the trees causing shadows to form on the ground. The garden Mabel and Stan had planted was quickly growing flowers. And the Jackalopes were already out of their caves and eating said flowers. </p><p>It was nice.</p><p>Then Bill sat down next to Dipper and looked out of the window disgruntled. “Nice moment over,” Dipper thought to himself as he cast a glance over to Bill.</p><p>His hair was a wavy, pale blond that almost looked white in the sunlight. His skin was a warm rose beige that had a slight gold shimmer if you looked at it closely. And his eyes, his eyes (or rather eye since the other ones covered up by an eyepatch 24/7) were a light amber that looked yellow when you shone a light on them.</p><p>If Dipper didn’t know that he was such a dick, he would’ve even called him attractive.</p><p>He was wearing a small yellow sweater that Mabel had knitted for him with his “all-seeing eye” on the front, along with black plaid pajama pants. </p><p>One thing worried dipper, however, when Dipper asked Mabel when she was going to take his measurements for the sweater so that he would know when to slip Rohypnol into Bill’s drink. </p><p>“Oh, I already asked him, he said he was a size small.” She responded.</p><p>But the sweater was practically falling off his shoulders revealing his collarbones that could probably cut through glass. </p><p>Dipper took a second to observe the boy in front of him, Bill’s eyes were sunken in with dark circles around them.<br/>
His cheekbones were more prominent than they should’ve been. </p><p>You could see the bones in this neck and shoulders whenever he moved, creating a “V” shape. And his pants barely hung to his boney hips. </p><p>A question burned in his mind and before he could think it through, it was already making its way through Dipper’s mouth. </p><p>“Hey.. when was the last time you ate something?” Dipper said nonchalantly, before immediately cursing himself in his head about being so blunt about something so sensitive. “Hm?” Bill hummed, as he furrowed his brows in confusion.</p><p>“Well, um, it was just that you, uh, dumped an entire bowl of cereal in the garbage. So I was just wondering when the last time you ate was in case you haven’t eaten in a while.” Bill’s expression changed to one of suspicion as if telling Dipper to continue with his sentence since that’s not all there was.</p><p>“..Just to, uh, make sure you’re not starving yourself,” Dipper said half-heartily with a small smile, trying desperately to lighten the mood.</p><p>“Well for your information Pine Tree, I’m not. The food you have here is just shit.” Bill said a bit defensively, “Oh, okay, well I’m gonna cook breakfast for everyone anyway, do you wanna eat with us?” </p><p>Bill looked away from Dipper and gave a final glance out the window, “no thanks, I’m not that hungry anyway, I’m gonna go get dressed into something better than whatever this is” Bill said getting up and gesturing at his pajamas. “Then I’m heading out,” Bill said walking out of the kitchen. </p><p>“Heading out where?” Dipper said a bit loudly to make sure Bill would hear him. “Somewhere!” Bill yelled back from somewhere throughout the house.</p><p>Dipper sighed.</p><p>“Demons.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>After breakfast Dipper got dressed and went out to find Bill, there was the magical barrier so he couldn’t have gone far.</p><p>Dipper looked around for about an hour, not trying too hard to find him, but more just looking around the town of Gravity Falls and keeping an eye out for Bill. </p><p>And after a while of aimlessly walking down a road, he eventually found himself standing at the lake, he was about to head back but then he spotted a familiar small figure sitting at the edge of the dock. Dipper let out a sigh of either relief or annoyance, he didn't quite know which.</p><p>He sat down next to him and lightly touched his shoulder causing Bill to jump, and look at Dipper with a fearful look in his eye. "Hey, hey, it's just me" Dipper reassured Bill and put his hands up to where Bill could see them, assuring Bill that he wasn't going to hurt him. </p><p>Bill's breathing steadied a bit after his mild panic, "goddamnit Pine Tree! You don't just sneak up on people like that!" Bill yelled at Dipper, but Dipper could hear the slight waver in his voice. "What are you doing out here?" Dipper asked softly trying his best to calm Bill down, something was wrong and he couldn't find out what it was if Bill was still mad at him.</p><p>"It's just-" it sounded like he was about to yell at Dipper but he paused and looked down at the water and stared at his reflection for a moment before continuing. "-it's nice.." Bill said in a voice just above a whisper, bringing his legs from a crossed position to bring his knees to his chest. </p><p>"Okay, do you mind if I sit here?" Dipper asked in a comforting voice and trying to mask the growing concern in his voice. Bill said nothing but simply nodded and cast his eye out to the lake. </p><p>Dipper followed his gaze out to the vast body of water in front of them, occasionally looking at Bill out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>They stayed like that until Dipper spoke up to break the uncomfortable silence between them. “Are you, uh...okay?” Dipper asked, and mentally facepalmed. Of course, he wasn’t okay! ‘God, I wish Mabel was here, she’s much better at this kind of stuff’ he thought to himself. She always knew what to do during Dipper’s nightmares and panic attacks and could easily coax him back to reality and make him tell her what was wrong. She just had a calming aura that made you want to open up to her. Dipper, however, found it much harder to help people with their problems.</p><p>“Sorry, I- I’m just really bad at this” Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It’s fine,” Bill turned to Dipper and gave a small smile that was clearly fake. </p><p>“I’m fine”. </p><p>That was enough to set Dipper off. “Bullshit! You’re out in the middle of nowhere with your knees to your chest like a baby! You really expect me to believe that, you fucking liar! I don’t even-”</p><p>Dipper’s yells slowly faded into the background. Bill could feel his heart rate getting quicker and felt a heavy feeling in his chest as he struggled to breathe, his vision became blurry with tears that he refused to let fall, his head pounded. His senses became heightened and he couldn’t even hear Dipper anymore. </p><p>He could hear the swaying of the trees, the birds, the footsteps of Dipper pacing, the hitched breaths he managed to let out, the wind. He could see the water in front of him, the trees in his peripheral, the sun that cast a beam of light that reflected on the water, the clouds. He could feel the hardwood of the dock beneath him, the soft fabric of the shirt he had slipped on, his hair that he was gripping. He could smell the scent of pine and saltwater. And he could taste the blood in his mouth from a cut he got from biting his bottom lip too hard. </p><p>It was all too much. Everything and nothing swirling around in his mind. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. He tried calling out for Dipper to help him but nothing came out. He gripped at his hair harder, undoubtedly pulling some out. He clawed at the edge of the dock causing his fingers to bleed. He could feel the tears he had tried hard to repress making their way down his cheeks. He couldn’t take it. It was all too much. So he did the one thing he could do;</p><p>He screamed. </p><p>“And you just don’t-” Dipper was cut off by a blood-curdling scream that he quickly registered was coming from Bill. He stopped his pacing dead in its tracks as he just stood there covering his ears to shield himself from the noise. After standing there for a couple of seconds that felt like hours he finally jumped into action.</p><p>He ran over to where Bill was sitting and kneeled next to the shaking boy, “shhh, shhh, it’s me, okay? It’s me, you are okay, you are safe.” He said into the dream demon’s ear so that Bill could hear him, Bill continued to scream so Dipper set out on helping him out slowly until he stopped.</p><p>Dipper rubbed circles in his back which Bill’s body tensed at first but gradually settled into, slowly becoming less and less tense. And as it did so Dipper slowly removed Bill’s hand from his hair and took the other one from its place on the dock to place both of Bill’s hands in Dipper’s. </p><p>With his free hand, he combed through Bill’s hair lovingly, gently caressing the soft, fluffy hair. Bill purred at this, and only then did Dipper realize that Bill had stopped screaming. He stopped petting him and Bill immediately turned to Dipper and started crying again thinking that he had done something wrong. Dipper immediately pulled him into a hug and began softly singing to him.</p><p>“Tula-rula-rula,<br/>
Tula-rula-lie”<br/>
Dipper once again combed his fingers through the demon’s hair and rocked him back and forth gently.</p><p> “Tula-rula-rula,<br/>
Hush now don’t you cry.”</p><p>Bill’s body relaxed and he leaned on Dipper, enjoying the sound of his voice.</p><p>“Tula-rula-rula,<br/>
Tula-rula-lie”</p><p>Dipper closed his eyes as he sang, remembering when Mabel would sing it to him when their mom wasn’t around (and she hardly was) to help calm him down after a nightmare.</p><p>“Tula-rula-rula,<br/>
That’s an Irish lullaby.”</p><p>After Dipper finished the song he opened his eyes and looked down to see the little demon sleeping soundly in his lap. Dipper smiled and picked him up bridle-style, careful not to wake him, and slowly walked home. </p><p>After over an hour of walking, Dipper was greeted by the familiar sight of the Mystery Shack. Both Grunckle Stan and Ford were out on the porch smoking cigars (don’t smoke kids) and looked up at Dipper. “Where the hell have you been all-”  he was quickly silenced by Ford elbowing him in the arm and pointing at the sleeping boy in Dipper’s arms. </p><p>Stan nodded, signaling that he got the message and gave Dipper a look that said ‘We’re not done talking about this’, Dipper nodded and made his way through the door, albeit a little difficult trying not to drop Bill, and made his way up the stairs and into his and Mabel’s room. </p><p>He gently put Bill down on the soft plush mattress and covered him up with his blankets. He sat down next to Bill and leaned down and planted a small kiss on his forehead.</p><p>“Sleep well, my little devil~,” Dipper said in a whisper as he got up from his place on the bed and turned around to head out only to be faced with his sister standing in the doorway. Dipper blushed a bright red and quickly walked past his sister and ran downstairs. </p><p>Mabel smiled even wider and looked back at Bill.</p><p>“Lucky Dorito.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This ended up being 2k words 😅</p></blockquote></div></div>
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